Highlights from "We’re Living in the Era of the Unthinkable" Part II

Highlights from "We’re Living in the Era of the Unthinkable" Part II

Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash

In the first half of this two-part blog post, I highlighted 5 points from Carolyn Myss’s video titled We’re Living in the Era of the Unthinkable.  She identifies existential conflicts humans need to resolve if we’re going to survive as a species. I turned some of Carolyn’s points from the first blog into questions for us to contemplate.  I hope the questions inspire us to act in more holistic ways.  

1. If the human community does not have the psychic or spiritual resources to absorb all the wounds that we inflict, what will it take to stop inflicting wounds?  

2. If you can’t kill an ideology and you can only kill people who believe an ideology, is killing ever the answer?  

3. If every country was started by war, what does this mean for patriotism and how we think about sovereignty?  

4. If our anger doesn’t ever warrant us to reorganize the lives of people around us when we express anger in violent ways, how do we express our anger in ways that, when released, produces healing?

Here’s more of Carolyn’s sage holistic advice: 

1. We must shift our language.  We must expel words like my, blame, entitled, deserve.  She says we must stop asking, what is the purpose of MY life? Instead, Carolyn says we must ask, 

• What is the purpose of life?  

• What is my capacity as a human being to make a difference in this world?  

• What does it mean to serve life?  

• These are the questions I want our world leaders to contemplate and answer as they negotiate with each other. 

2. She also tells us that the job of consciousness is to go beyond the package we were born into and include history in our consciousness.  

3. She asks, "how do we become conscious of the explosion of pain that is happening around us?  Then she recommends the following points:  

• Pay attention to our bio-spiritual ecology. Our body operates on laws of holism. They govern our health. Each human is a micro-earth. The earth sustains itself from the laws of holism.  

• We are in the age of holism and thinking in fractions with fractured emotions is why we keep creating violence. It’s no wonder we are an increasingly fractured species.  

Finally, she says we must start thinking the unthinkable. An example of thinking the unthinkable is that we shape human history one decision at a time. Pray we can become a species where we all think the unthinkable, where we can find resolutions to problems that yesterday we thought we were unthinkable. 

In solidarity, 

Madeline   

Highlights from "We’re Living in the Era of the Unthinkable" Part I

Highlights from "We’re Living in the Era of the Unthinkable"

Photo by Ben Lambert on Unsplash

Thank you to my dear friend Janis Pryor for sending this video of Carolyn Myss responding to the violence between Israel and Palestine. Her talk is powerful. I summarize a few of her ideas in this two-part blog post. There are five points she speaks which are hard to sit with, but I believe we must metabolize these principles if peace is going to prevail in the Middle East and throughout our world. They are:   

1. You can’t kill an ideology.  You can only kill people who believe an ideology.  

2. Every single country was started by war.  

3. We can’t all decide that our anger is righteous enough to totally reorganize the lives of people around us when we decide to express our anger in violent ways.  

4. Rage and conflict brew everywhere. The dark characteristics brewing in human nature are unsustainable.  

5. The human community does not have the psychic or spiritual resources to absorb all the wounds that we inflict

In the next blog post, I share my and her responses to these issues that she raises so confidently and directly in her talk.  

Thought Leadership Resources to help us Decolonize our Minds

Sharing thought leaders to help us decolonize our minds and organizations: 

1. Amber Ruffin. I imagine many of you have seen Amanda’s Why We Need a White History Month. She breaks it down in this six-minute video. What's there not to love about her? 

2. One way to appreciate the fact that Black History and Women’s History are back to back is to remember that we have far more in common than we do different.  I have thought about and worked on the intersection of gender issues and race for over 30 years. This video was shared to me by my friend and colleague Amy Behrens, from FORJ to honor Women’s History month.  It's called Glimpses into the Spirit of Gender Equality. Watch this with your girlfriends, children and the men in your life or as a family. Developing a global perspective helps us all heal. We must have a global perspective if we’re going to create a truly inclusive society where people from all places are welcome and can thrive.

3. Stephanie Spellers shared this t-shirt on her Facebook page. It says: Racism is so American that when you protest it, people think you're protesting America. Ooophh...it’s painful and wildly maddening that there’s such a gulf in our lack of analysis about the truth. And here we are. 

4. Sarah Jane Glynn at Center for American Progress wrote an article about the unequal division of labor in the United States and how equitable workplaces ultimately benefit working mothers. She writes about employment, the economy, work and family issues.

5. Lupe Poblano, Project Director at CompassPoint, wrote Letter to My POC Sisters and Brothers. This article helps us see how sexism, patriarchy, white supremacy and racism weave together to create toxic work environments not only for BIPOC, but for all of us.

Preparing for What's Ahead...

Charles Blow, columnist for the New York Times, writes Our Most Dangerous Weeks Are Ahead. I agree with him on this. How are you preparing for the election results? This is a conversation we have been having with ourselves and our clients for the past couple weeks. This newsletter answers this question on different levels.

Self-Care is Health Care. Affiliate Dr. Rita Anita Linger reminds us of this idea alot. We need this mantra more than ever. Conditioning Leaders work is rooted in trauma and restorative approaches and Rita Anita and Rebecca Jackson are two colleagues who lead this work masterfully. A warm up question that Rebecca often uses in our meeting facilitation or trainings is "How are your PIES: How are you physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually?" Have you made a commitment to ensure your PIES are getting nourished consistently in this time of increasing stress?

Community Care. Being in multi-racial groups can be liberating and healing for all as long as harm isn't enacted, yet we know unintended racial abuse (aka microaggressions) is inevitable. For example, it's insensitive when white people express amazement and surprise learning about white supremacist acts in earshot of BIPOC friends and colleagues. Our learning has a disproportionate impact on people of color. Practicing restorative, resilience and trauma-informed processes can ensure multi-racial spaces are a place of belonging for all members. So what can we do to ensure everyone in our organizations are cared for well?

Race based groups bring healing when facilitated well for everyone. For white readers, Brianna Boggs advises us to "phone-a-white-friend". We need white friends to help us learn to be anti-racist and unlearn our racism. In our White Women and the Power Paradox work, we use Susan Silk's Ring Theory to help explain the importance of how to care for those closest to harm. BIPOC need spaces away from the racial stress they navigate every day. If you lead an organization, how are you supporting BIPOC employees to ensure they have spaces for healing? For BIPOC readers, who are you gathering around and what are you doing to ensure you're getting the healing you need? This webpage Race Based Trauma Resources and Support in a Time of Civil Strife, where the model above comes from, has something for everyone depending on what level you want to learn about and intervene on to create healing.

Organizing for our Collective Conscience, Our Nation's Soul and the Spirit of Democracy
This Vox article explores when non-violent civil resistance is needed and what makes it work. In Trump may try to steal the election. Americans may have to take to the streets., Sean Illing interviews Erica Chenoweth, an expert who studies how non-violent civil resistance has worked globally to create more justice. If this interest you, read this article.

Finally you don't want to miss this year's Facing Race: Going Virtual Conference. It's November 10-12th, 2020. It will be an inspiring and nourishing place to be one week after the presidential election.

Keep wearing your mask :) and VOTE if you haven't already!

A Very Problematic Phenomenon

Everyone wants to solve racism this year. This is good and a very problematic phenomenon. If we can harness the interest and will of white Americans to deepen their analysis and accountability/allyship muscles, then we will make some progress towards racial equity. I believe the arc of history bends towards justice. In this spirit, I want to share what I and my colleagues have been up to and offer some resources.

Earlier this month I gave a keynote address about Creating Cultures of Belonging and Equity for the International Brain Injury Clubhouse Alliance. It was an especially poignant opportunity as I have two immediate family members who have endured severe brain injuries. An honor to be with this community. If you're interested in this topic and/or looking for a presentation, let's talk.

On September 30th I am speaking at BVS Connect's Breaking through the Barriers of Systemic Racism Virtual Conference. The panel I am on titled What are the Solutions to Breaking through Barriers of Racism is at 12:20pm EDT. The entire conference is from from 11am-1pm EDT. We will be using a very cool platform for virtual conferences called Remo. It's pretty fun and the conference is free, join us.

The Racial Equity Senior Leaders Learning Circle housed at Trinity Boston Connects is off to a powerful start. For the 2020-2021 cohort, we have 27 inspiring non-profit leaders all committed to journeying virtually together this year. Even though this year's group is full, get on our list for next year. It's not too early. Questions? Please ask.

For Network Weavers and Social Change Agents, here's a valuable video from the Skoll Foundation. It will help you deepen your understanding of 21st century approaches for social change which are sorely needed in this new decade.

Finally you don't want to miss this year's Facing Race: Going Virtual Conference. It's November 10-12th, 2020. It will be an inspiring and nourishing place to be one week after the presidential election.

Keep wearing your wear a mask :) and VOTE!

What Summer?

Summer is in full swing in New England. Many of us are asking "What summer?". We're inside much more than any other summer season in our life time. In all honesty, some days I am searching with effort to find joy and solace. I visit my garden several times a day. This has become my 2020 summer happy place. The basil, kale, tomatoes, squash, cantaloupes, eggplant, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, strawberries and herbs feel like babies I tend daily to make sure they're staying healthy and growing. Lying on the grass looking up at the sky helps me feel more connected to the wider world beyond the COVID 19 pandemic that permeates daily reality. What are you figuring out as an antidote to the isolation and depression that might be affecting you and so many others around you?

Brianna Boggs and I have just finished our 2nd White Women and Power Paradox 3 session class. We had over 1000 registrants and about 600 participants attend our free webinars. We have led about 70 women in this program so far. Based on this work, we're designing How Well-Intended Whiteness Keeps Harming: Developing and Sustaining Anti-Racist Practices for Newton Public School educators as a part of their 2020 Summer Professional Learning Opportunities Anti-Racism Learning category. If you want to help your company, organization or community deepen its anti-racist and allyship muscles, let's talk.

Summer means Fall is approaching and there's lots of work being planned. Stay tuned for more offerings, but here are a few listed below. We would love to have you join us.

1. We're not supposed to have favorite children, but I do have favorite work projects. One of my favorites is the Racial Equity Senior Leaders Learning Circle housed at Trinity Boston Connects. I co-lead this learning journey with Rebecca Jackson and Brianna Boggs. The three of us are committed to creating a more racially equitable Boston. One way we're strategically moving this vision forward is through this program now starting its 4th year. For the first time due to the pandemic and the program being virtual, we are accepting applications from non-profit leaders outside of Boston. This program is growing in popularity and is endorsed and supported in part by The Boston Foundation. We're committed to having a racially mixed group of non-profit leaders. You can apply with another senior colleague if you want. Please invite other senior leaders in your networks. Details and a registration link are here. Other questions? please ask.

2. Non-Profit Leadership and Community Engagement is a Harvard Extension School graduate level class. Harry Harding and I are excited to turn our hybrid course into a 100% virtual class this semester. If you want to get a professional certificate through HES in non-profit management or organizational behavior, this course is for you. The Course starts September 2, 2020 and is 2 hours a week for 15 Wednesdays.

3. Leadership Coaching Strategies is a professional development course I also teach at Harvard Extension School. It's a popular course and draws professionals from all over the world. The next class will be offered online in four afternoon sessions EDT starting August 31st-September 10th. To learn more, click here.

Keep connecting with your happy place and wear a mask.

We Have to Fight for our Democracy

July is the month when America celebrates its independence. I have always felt uncomfortable with this holiday, too much un-examined pride and hyper-patriotic expression of which I am leery. Criticizing patriotism isn't a popular way to speak up and its necessary. I love barbecues, picnics, summer heat and (depending on the decade of my life) fireworks. This year, more than ever on July 4th I want to protest, mourn, grieve, be of service to those in need and go to the woods to find solace and peace.

As a counter to the mainstream narrative of independence day, one action I am taking to preserve our democracy is to co-sponsor a free SwingLeft webinar. We have to fight for our democracy in many ways. Please join us on Tuesday, July 7, 2020 at 4pm EDT to learn about what you can do from home to preserve and support democracy as it plays out specifically in the key battleground Super States.

Finally, we have one remaining White White Women and Power Paradox webinar scheduled for this Thursday, July 2, noon-1:30pm EDT. For a deep dive with other white women about our relationship to power, anti-racism and racial equity muscle building, join us. If you want to collaborate and bring WWPP offerings to your organization, contact Brianna Boggs or me. We would love to talk.

Rage, Anger, Grief and Exhaustion

White Women and the Power Paradox (WWPP) webinar and 3 part class is resonating these days. We've had almost 900 women register for the free webinars and we've kicked off our first 3 session class today with about 45 women.

White Americans are waking up to the rage, anger, grief and exhaustion our black and brown sisters and brothers have been expressing for the past 401 years in the USA. Educating white people is grossly inadequate and critically necessary. In my work with Brianna Boggs, we support white people to show up, speak up and act up with a more informed historical/social/economic analysis and with even more vigilance about how to act in solidarity to the Black Lives Matter movement and all the organizing the BLM leaders have inspired.

When did WWPP work start?
I have been leading women in my life and career for decades. Whether it was leading my Re-Evaluation Women's Co-Counseling Support Group in my 20s or when Interaction Associates started its Women in Leadership offerings about a decade ago I was there. When I started my coaching practice in 2003, supporting women in their leadership was an obvious niche for me. Supporting women to negotiate job transitions, salary negotiations and the glass ceiling are all conversations near and dear to my heart.

At Conditioning Leaders, my Boston-based colleagues and I are committed to making Boston a more racially just and equitable city. Creating a more racially equitable non-profit sector is a key strategy in this mission. In 2019, Brianna Boggs and I were co-leading the 3rd Racial Equity Leaders Learning Circle program with Rebecca Jackson and Simone John of Trinity Connects. This was the first year we had an all white cohort of non-profit leaders. Brianna and I knew we needed to go deeper with these leaders and deeper with white women in particular, so here we are creating a place for white women to do our work. Join us as we explore together and co-create the White Women and the Power Paradox community.

White Women and the Power Paradox

Why is this course designed for white women and led by white women?

White Women and the Power Paradox was born so Brianna Boggs, Madeline McNeely and others could lead a movement of white women to show up, speak up and act up more powerfully to lead racial justice and dismantle white supremacy. Join us, we and the world wants and needs you.

Grappling with the “intersectional dimensions of patriarchy and white supremacy” (Kimberly Crenshaw) is complicated. Madeline has held a mirror up to herself for her whole young adult and adult life exploring each of her identities and unpacking how they shape and inform her consciousness and work in the world.  The first decade of her career as a youth worker and consultant to youth organizations was in communities of color systematically targeted by white supremacist policies. When she was in her early 30s, she knew if she was going to continue to dismantle racism and be an even more effective anti-racist leader, organizer, consultant, coach, she had to learn to lead people of her own race more effectively since her people are the designers of white supremacy.

White supremacist practices has stripped people of their souls. Although not from a religious family, she knew leading white people in a faith-based context would force her to sit with the rage and confusion she had towards the Christian religion and it would help her deepen love for herself and her white brothers and sisters. After practicing Paganism, Buddhism, Yoga, she knew she had to wrestle with her Christian roots and not run away from her own cultures religious traditions.  Christians have to have been traumatized and dehumanized to initiate, tolerate and perpetuate enslavement and genocide of other human beings for hundreds of years. 

Madeline has slave owning and slave trading ancestors and her work is as much about liberating herself as it is other whites who have lost their sense of dignity through tolerating, maintaining and exacerbating white supremacy for 401 years. There is no neutrality as a white person given the legacy of colonization and the USA’s love of and obsession for extractive capitalism and militarization. 

White women have been shaped by internalized sexism and patriarchy to collude with white supremacy. Most white people in the USA don’t grow up with a racialized consciousness. We have a white-washed experience of the world. We think our worldview is normal and healthy. We learn as girls to be good, support men to maintain economic and social structures that privilege men over women, white people over people of color, young people over elders, cis-gendered folks over trans and non-binary people etc...

There is still a glass ceiling for women in this country. Corporate women leaders are disproportionately asked to rescue companies when they’re failing, placing women at the edge of the glass cliff. Working class women disproportionately are responsible for raising children and maintaining careers often working 2-3 jobs just to make subsistence wages. The way racism, classism and many forms of oppression interlock to maintain white supremacy is a white problem.

How We Can Help

The COVID-19 virus doesn't discriminate. The United States is founded on the premise of inequity, so of course black and brown people are more closely affected and are dying at higher rates than white people. How do we continue to have faith in and hope for our species under these conditions?

These newsletters are an attempt to inspire you during this pandemic to:

• ponder more deeply human evolution and how our species can more sustainably and lovingly live with each other and the environmental ecosystems that support us.

• intervene in tactical and practical ways supporting those in greatest need of extra care and attention.

• explore more deeply what you want to learn personally and professionally so you can be an even more inspiring leader others want to follow.

Below are a few organizations worthy of all of our attention:

SURJ (Showing up for Racial Justice) has a Combating Anti-Asian Racism and COVID-19 Toolkit. This toolkit includes information about anti-Asian scapegoating and xenophobia in the USA. There are sections on how to call people in when racial abuse (aka microaggressions) happen, actions you can take to stand up against injustice, training materials for bystanders as well as many other mutual aid and covid related resources. If you're interested in learning more about SURJ and finding your local chapter, click here.

For Boston area residents, the Boston Center for Youth and Families (BCYF) is surveying residents to learn more about the best ways to help during the pandemic. Please fill this out if you're in Boston. It will help BCYF plan and advocate for Boston youth and families. Here is a survey for youth to complete. Pass it to young people you know. They want your input.

The Codman Square Neighborhood Development Corporation has surveyed many residents about their needs. They're responding actively to residents in their community offering everything from grocery store gift cards to advocating for increased resources from state and local government funds to support communities disproportionately hit by this pandemic. Please support them here.

Youth on Board is organizing virtual youth summer jobs in Boston. Please donate here to support summer work for teens. Many families rely on income from their teen's employment, so give generously.

The Louis D. Brown Peace Institute had its 24th Mother's Day Walk for Peace on May 10th virtually for the first time. Their work is needed more than ever. Donate here to help them reach their fundraising goal. This walk draws thousands every year. You don't want to miss supporting them.